It all began with one little toe.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Calcutta
It all began with one little toe.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
An All Too Familiar Feeling:
Monday, August 10, 2009
A View of My Neighbourhood
A short walk out onto the main street and things get a little more hectic. We have everything from tiny street stands that sell steamed momos to a Levi's outlet, a fitness center ("Y2K Millenium Gym for He & She"), and a row of young men who set up their stools nightly and can draw some of the best henna designs in the city. It smells amazing to walk past them and get a whiff of that spicy, lemony paste. I like to buy ice from a nearby stand and plunge my hand into the cool bag, picking out a cube and crunching it loudly to the bewilderment of the old Parsee man I buy it from. But he still smiles and blesses me and calls me बेटी, which means daughter. Opposite the rather out-of-place French bakery, Birdy's, is a Bollywood cinema. It's pretty run down and for some reason always abruptly cuts the film off before it's quited ended, but it's also been packed every night for the past two weeks with cheeky, whistling audiences thanks to the recent hit, Love AajKal. In this one the two stars, Deepika and Saif Ali Khan, actually lock lips - I think the eruption of cheers from a few teenage boys who sat to my right when I went to see it might have damaged the hearing in my right ear for good.
Whenever I'm feeling hungry, which is too often for my own good, I pop out to Chawla's Fast Food for some freshly baked butter naan. And I mean straight-from-the-tandoor-into-my-greedy-hands fresh, all for the cost of about 25c. And on my way home, after I snake between the traffic of oncoming rickshaws, bikes, buses, and on one occasion an elephant, I always encounter one of our friendly neighbours. She's an older Punjabi lady, and perhaps a bit senile, I can't tell, because even though I stop and chat with her almost everyday, she's always surprised that I can speak Hindi and she always informs me that a group of American students live on the third floor next door, to which I smile and sweetly reply each time, "Oh yes, I live there too, you know..."
And occasionally, throughout the day, it strikes me, "I live here." Here, in an apartment without AC or internet or even a fridge, where I fall asleep on a hard mattress to the howling of stray dogs in the courtyard, and where I wake up to the morning calls of a door-to-door vegetable seller, here I am making my home. And I'm falling in love with it.
Delhi Life and Punjabi Travels
27 July
As of this moment my trip is actually on the precipice of beginning. The Hyderabad students left today, so now the vacation is really over. Just before they left we had our first encounter with Delhi's monsoon rains. It was incredible. Within minutes the street was turned into a lake as the sky just chucked it down on us. It felt like the weather knew how we were all feeling and turned our misery into a downpour. I for one will miss those friends I made in our first month very much, but beside that I also have this impending feeling that the trip will get a lot more difficult, though perhaps a little more authentic, from here on out. I'll really have to learn how to live and do many other things alone in a big, foreign city.
We went to go and see the new Harry Potter movie at a cinema nearby to our hostel. It was great! A lovely three hour retreat - I almost forgot all about the cockroaches that all seem to flock to the pavement right outside the cinema. Also saw an ad for the LPU (Lovely Professional University - no joke) before the movie started. It offers an "A++ education." Perhaps I should go there instead of Delhi University, which can't seem to figure out when Anthropology classes should meet, even though term technically began last week.
29 July
All moved into our apartment. That is, the five of us who are supposed to live here plus seven others whose flats are still under construction. It's a little crowded and very hot (no AC) but a bit like a sleepover so it's a good time. I'm a little daunted by the prospect of having to furnish our apartment, buying things like kitchenware and appliances and cushions, plus organizing internet etc. I have no idea where to begin to look for these things in Delhi and nobody offers any advice or help. My landlord must have a sense of humour for thinking that a 1/2" thick padded blanket passes for a mattress, so I have to buy one of those too. I have a squatting toilet in my bathroom and my mirror and sink are outside in the hallway. Nowhere to unpack my clothes into and twelve people's things are everywhere so it's really hard to unpack. Did I mention that it's really hot in our apartment? Don't feel like doing anything, so excuse the little spoiled tirade. I'm off to bed.
1 August
Apartment is starting to shape up a bit. Got a mattress yesterday! Lovely to sleep on but still so damn hot, I woke up in a bath of sweat this morning. Horrible.
Went to the Anthro department at school yesterday because they said the timetable would be up the day before. Turns out it wasn't, so they said at the office come back Monday, a week after classes were supposed to start. Fantastic. Guess this is what happens when you attend university in a third world country.
7 August
On the train to Amritsar. Got to the New Delhi train station early in the morning for the train to leave at 7:20. The train station floor was pretty crammed with sleeping people, some waiting for trains, clutching their luggage, but mostly beggars and street people. Right outside the entrance from the Metro I'm quite sure I saw a dead man because I've never seen flies swarm on anybody like that before. They were in his ears, and half-opened eyes, and mouth while he just lay there motionless and gaunt. A few beggars came up to me as I waited to board the coach. One man was particularly shocking because he was burnt all over his body, his skin fusing in strange ways around his neck and his hands. I had to turn away from him as he loomed above me, disfigured hand outstretched. I felt so awful. About half of the beggars I see here are burn victims. Many others are blind. In Rishikesh I saw a woman whose nose had been cut off. It sort of hits home that most of these disfigurements were done to them so that they could make more money as beggars. Although I've also heard of women being doused in Kerosene by their husbands over dowry disputes. My housemate Ronny also told me about a man who kidnapped his niece and tried to rape her. When she resisted he poured acid over her face, blinding and scarring her for life. He was put up for trial but pardoned. Today that man is a wealthy, influential judge.
But I try not to think of these things very often. It's just a reality that comes with India, so I have to move on to a lighter note. I spent the entire day in Pahar Ganj yesterday, my favourite shopping district. Have come to the realization that India, especially Delhi, is like one giant flea market and that I may very well return home with a shopping addiction. How I'll get everything back to the states, though, I've no idea. I'm in a love affair with harem pants - thin, baggy crotched, bunched at the ankles and popular with backpacking hippies across the country. I also had my palm read there. It was ridiculous but a good laugh! I'm confused though, he told me I think too much, but that I should use my head first more often, then my heart. Also, I'm apparently an angry person when it comes to troubles with love and I should learn to control that more. Hmmm...
Was thinking of planning a trip to Dharamsala and McLeod Ganj next weekend but just found out that next Saturday is Independence Day, and that Friday is Krishna's birthday. Funny that each Hindu god has a birthday - I wonder if it's like having twelve Christmases? Anyway, the Saturday should be great so I don't want to miss out. There's going to be a parade all the way from India Gate to the Red Fort and I've heard there are elephants involved (yay!). Then the weekend after that we're taking a class trip to Agra and Jaipur to see the Taj Mahal, which of course I'm really excited for.
Good thing is that I finally have classes sorted and have organized to take them on Mondays and Wednesdays only, so I should be able to travel a lot with all my four day weekends. It's a rough life.
Flat is much emptier and much more organized with everyone gone, but still really hot! Trying to get a fridge and internet but these sort of amenities - sorry, luxuries - take forever in this country. The carpenter finally came by last night and fixed a pole in my wardrobe. I was so happy I could've kissed him! I guess I'm an easy girl to please these days. Now, if I could just get them to keep mysterious little black hairs out of my train food...
9 August
I'm back from Amritsar, surviving on two very early mornings but otherwise really content with the weekend. Booked a cheap hotel room for the three of us travelling together when we got in, then pottered around downtown Amritsar for a bit. Ended up seeing #1 of the only 3 exciting things to see in Amritsar - the Jallianwalah Bagh. It was the site of a devastating massacre in 1919, when the British General Dyer ordered the firing of thousands of rounds onto a defenseless crowd of 20,000 Indians who had gathered in peaceful protest against the Rowlatt Acts. 1,500 were injured and over 300 were killed, some of whom were women and children. Nobody was ever given a warning, and found themselves trapped in the little square, surrounded by high walls and tiny alleyways. It was really sad to discover all of this at the very location where so many were brutally killed ninety years ago. It's been turned into wuite a nice park now in memory of those who died, but it's also pretty similar to every other monument in India - beggars sleeping on benches in the shade and people pretending that they're not taking pictures of you on their camera phone, even though it's pretty obvious...
It was a good experience to be in a new state in India, where a small change in location means a new language, new food, new cultural customs. Apparently Punjabis are considered to be the hillbillies of India - always down to drink, smoke, party, and fight. They are the butt of many blonde-style jokes, and there's a saying here that Punjabis are best at starting parties and ending them. Their fierce attitude seeps into traditional Sikh dress, which has the effect of looking really militant complete with turban, beard, dagger, and hilted sword. It's sort of like encountering a friendly Taliban. Gun shops were also pretty prevalent wherever we went, and I've never met Indian women fearless enough to brave the crazy traffic on a motorbike by themselves, salwar kamiz flapping in the breeze behind them. Forget Texas, here the phrase is "don't mess with Punjab."
Amritsar attraction #2: The Golden Temple, the holiest site for Sikhs. We woke up at four in the morning and got there by 4:30 to see the holy book, the Guru Granth Sahib, be moved from its nighttime resting place into the Hari Mandir, which is the Golden epicentre of the entire city-like compound. It seemed to be a particularly dark night when we got there. I made my way over to one side of the Amit Sarovar, which is the lake-like blessing pool that surrounds the Hari Mandir like an island. The water looked as ink black as the sky. I have an eerie image in my memory of a Sikh boy disappearing into the dark water and rising up from it again, bathed in the yellow light emitted from the temple and eyes shining. All was peaceful and silent except for the echoing blend of tabla, harmonium, and song.
And all this time, I realized later that afternoon, the border line between India and Pakistan was a mere 9km away from Amritsar. We went to Wagah at sunset, the final checkpost and site of the infamous border ceremony. One hour later I find myself trapped in the midst of something more along the lines of a halftime show than I imagined, coaxed into cheering for Hindustan and cursing Pakistan in Hindi, and simultaneously trying to ward off the suffocating advances of an old drunk man to my right with very bad breath. When the singing and dancing are over, the official ceremonies at last begin and I peer through a crowd of about 700 other people to catch a glimpse of the giant guards, complete with fanned out turbans and shiny black boots, goosestepping in perfect synchronicity with the Pakistani side. The opposing guards get so close, they could be kissing, but instead they throw out their arms in a bird-like intimidation move that seems to jeer, "I'm bigger than you!" And the whole time in the background one guard from each side is screaming something that sounds like "GOAL!" as if we're at a football match, keeping the note for as long as he can in an attempt to drown out the other side. I love how passionate each side of congregants was for their country, and how openly ridiculous the entire ceremony was.
And at the same time it was funny, because just twenty feet away from where we were sitting was a line, an arbitrary line that sixty years ago separated these two sets of people without their consent, that made it so that over here we speak Hindi and you will speak Urdu, and you will worship Allah and here our women will not have to cover their heads, and we will not identify with each other anymore because somewhere some foreign hand that had nothing to do with it took a pen and paper and drew a line that became that physical line right there.
Borders are funny things.
Mum has complained to me that my blog, extracted almost directly from my diary, isn't personal enough. So let me explain, in personal terms, for her sake: I have a line to divide my two parts. They are in constant rivalry - a shouting match where one must outlast the other in order to be heard. So, it is only quietly that I miss you (among other things), while the other side of me, the guard of my own emotions, yells selfishly into a megaphone of the things she has seen and the places she has been to. What am I to do? If I open up the gates to the other side there's no telling when the shouting match will end.
आगे समय तक - बहुत प्यार।
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
July Continued...
On the Saturday we hiked the 7km uphill path to the shrine, which was built around a natural mountain hot spring. Along the way we passed gorgeous waterfalls, spilling the melted mountain snow into the turbulent Ganga Yamuna. When we at last reached the temple, I went into the women's section of the hot springs, which was unfortunately really sealed off, a bit dungeon-esque, and reeking of urine. But still, for the experience, the other girls and I undressed and stepped into the piping hot, murky pool. We tried to stay still and endure the bubbling water, but were constantly buffeted by older Indian women who were bathing themselves. Then, we noticed a few men stealing furtive glances through the one small doorway into the women-only space. One actually tried to take our picture! So much for thinking they'd behave at a holy sanctuary...
On the walk back some of us took a donkey path from the main road and walked to a secluded spot upriver where we could swim. The water was icy, even though it was so close to the temple where steam gushed from between stone slabs with the heat of the springs. In that place, far away from all of the people and worshippers, things seemed purer and holier than any spiritual site I've visited thus far. My fellow California travellers would probably disagree with me, because I know that when they go these temples and mosques they feel some sort of connection with the place, but when I'm there I don't really know what I'm supposed to be feeling. I suppose I've never been a very spiritual person, but I also can't help but feel that sometimes all of the people that flock to these places ruin the serenity I expect each spot to have. Then again, it seems like Hinduism is not about that at all, not about calmness or individuality, but about being part of a big, collective entity. Maybe that's why so many of their deities have multiple heads?
22 July 2009
I was supposed to spend this last weekend in a place called Haridwar. It's one of the places on the Ganges where the river turns from a mountain stream into a full-fledged, rapid river, and is a very holy site for Hindus. Serendipitously, though, the three of us who decided to leave on Saturday morning ended up on the bus to Rishikesh, about an hour away from Haridwar but also on the Ganges. Found out afterwards that I was pretty fortunate in the end, because Haridwar is really crazy at this time of year because of a pilgrimage that's taking place.
This six week long pilgrimage involves men from all over the country making their way to Northern cities along the Ganges so that they can bathe in it and collect its holy water to bring home. What it turns out to be, however, is sort of an Hindustani spring break - mobs of young men take over the streets, chanting and running and driving women away. I don't know how something so holy can turn people into frightening mobs, but even Rishikesh, cal next to Haridwar, frightened me.
Rishikesh is where the Beatles went to for spiritual enlightenment in the 70s. Their old ashram is still there, abandoned and overgrown. The friend I was travelling made us go with him inside, guided by a crazy baba, while all around us were signs that said "No Entry." I guess a couple of hundred rupees will get you anywhere, but I didn't think it was very special to be there just because many years ago the Beatles had stayed there for a few weeks. And I felt even more disillusioned when the baba tried to suck more money from us, and get us to buy hash from him, once again displaying the hypocrisy that runs so closely with the holy here in India. Rishikesh's remaining claim to fame is as a yoga sanctuary and a place to learn ayurvedic massage and healing. Basically it's really full of European hippies. Whenever I pass by them on the street I feel like I have to apologize to them for ruining the authenticity of their Indian experience - none of us white people acknowledge each other.
Anyway, the three of us dished out a little extra money and got a really nice hotel room. I know I'm a hypocrite but the air conditioning was a gift from God! When we went back out into the streets they were packed. All of the pilgrims dress in orange and run in the road shouting out battlecries and maatras. Passing by these men in small alleyways in a really packed crowd guarantees you a bit of a groping. Tons of them pushed really close in torun a hand up my thigh, but by the time I'd look up to defend myself with a harsh glare, they'd already disappeared in the opposite direction. And I was really covered up too in a long sleeved kurta. I don't know how I could better hide myself. I just know they wouldn't try that with an Indian girl.
In Rishikesh we also saw the Laxman Jhula temple. It looks really cool from the outside because it's thirteen stories high and right on the edge of the river. Once again, though, we were charged a special fee with the man at the gate to enter. I didn't see anyone else having to pay. More disappointment met me inside as I discovered that the temple is only half holy site, and half shopping centre. Between just about every shrine to one of the gods there was somebody selling clothes or jewellery. It was pretty silly. That night we had a nice dinner in a traditional restaurant that overlooked the strong rapids on the banks below. I hadn't been really enchanted by the short time I'd spent in Rishikesh, but I think it did teach me some of the realities of Hinduism and the pilgrimage season. And of course, not to go to Haridwar in the middle of July.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
भारत में एक महीने के बाद
Luckily, I’ve kept a journal from the first day I arrived and onwards, so that I’m able to dip into those seemingly long gone days and provide an update on my travels so far. So here you are, straight from the pages of my diary:
20 June 2009
We’ve had two and a half days in Delhi so far and I’ve been trying so hard to comprehend my surroundings that they seem unprocurable. The city is always bustling and the streets are never empty as even at sunrise you can catch all of the rickshaw wallahs sleeping on the ground or in their carts. People sleep and live alongside dogs and cows and goats in the pockets of slums, squeezed between tall buildings. It’s all very surreal, but a little exposure to the city goes a long way, I’ve found.
Went to the Sikh temple called Gurudwara today. It was built in the 1600s and shines over our part of the city, Connaught Place, from three giant gilded domes. It also has one huge, rather murky blessing pool where people go to bathe in the holy waters. Some sad looking Koi fish were swimming in it, barely visible beneath the dirty surface. Sikhism is very focused around nature, but I think that in this case the Sikhs might have to just concede to the city, which has very little natural elements about it…
Reading the newspaper this morning I see two sad events in a little column to the side – one British student, 19 years-old, was raped by two taxi drivers after she arrived to teach English to village children. The other is the story of a pregnant woman who was killed by two policemen. It says they pushed her from a train because she wouldn’t pay the 100 rupee bribe.
22 June 2009
My first bad day in the city. Had a really awful morning! I was set on going to the National Archives, to see if there was any information on my four-times great grandfather, who may or may not have been in India as a child. I heard from the owner of our hostel’s restaurant that getting inside was simple, as long as you had your passport with you, but apparently that only applies to Indians. So, as I wasn’t allowed inside without a letter from my embassy and my university, I just decided to walk to India Gate, a nearby monument that looks a bit like the Arc de Triomph (it was a gift from France in honour of India’s independence, they have a habit of doing that). Everything that ensued was just a mess.
First I had a rickshaw driver come up to me, trying to get me to agree to a sight seeing trip with him as my driver, saying, “3 hours, 550 rupee only, just for you madam because it is my birthday.” He pressured me and pressured me but I refused until finally he just asked me for some sweets for his two little children, which I didn’t have, then made a disgusted face at me and drove away. It really made me feel like shit.
Then I got more trouble when I began walking to the gate and found that I was the only white person, let alone white woman, in a really deserted place full of staring men. A couple of street kids ran up to me trying to take a picture of me with my camera, but I shooed them off. Next thing I know a crowd of three older guys were right next to me, putting their arms round my shoulders and grabbing for my camera to give it to those kids, saying, “Picture! Picture!” I felt really cornered and scared, so I ran quickly as I could, snatched my camera back and walked in the opposite direction, fighting back tears. It felt like nobody was going to cut me a break, then a little girl came to my side, probably 7 or 8 years-old, and asked me if I wanted some henna on my hand. I told her no but was distracted, feeling really upset and furious, so she grabbed my hand and started drawing on it anyway.
As she pulled me to the side and sat me down, talking to me in very good English, I was amazed at how wizened she was for such a young girl. She warned me about those men. “They just want to touch you here, and here,” she pointed on her body. “It’s very dangerous around here, you know?” On her forearm I could see a tattoo of something in Hindi, but couldn’t read what it said. She was there with her brother and they both looked like they lived on the streets. I gave them 100 rupees – too much for henna but I thought at least they are two people who really need it. If they get to keep it, that is.
Caught a ride back to the hostel and was ridiculously ripped off again. What a sucker I am just for having white skin and blonde hair.
28 June 2009
We’ve had two full days in Mussoorie now. It’s gorgeous, and the mountain air is such a nice break from the smog and pollution of the city.
It was a ten hour bus ride from Delhi to this little hill station, plus a taxi ride up some very narrow mountain paths that was nauseating for some. The drivers here are pretty crazy, even when they’re make hairpin turns at really high altitude! At least the views took my mind off the journey, as we could see all the way down into the valley, which kept getting smaller and smaller the higher we went…
I now live in a little cottage in the town of Landour, just above Mussoorie. I have a sweet little room all to myself, but despite all of this we’re basically one step above camping. I get to shower about once every three days until the rains arrive and replenish our supply. Flushing the toilet is also very limited, but I’ll spare you any more details.
I’ve made the trek down into town twice to do some exploring. The roads get so steep that coming back is like doing thirty minutes on the Stairmaster from Hell. There’s a lot of nature and wildlife on the way up, though. We have two kinds of monkeys, Langurs (big, white and scary) and Bandars (small, brown and scary). We’ve noticed that the locals carry around rocks when they walk anywhere, just in case a quick retaliation and a little intimidation becomes necessary. Unfortunately amongst all the green surroundings the locals’ idea of trash collection is to dump all of their rubbish directly over the mountainside. Their thinking must be that once out of sight it’s out of mind, but the growing mounds of rubbish at the base of Landour is proof that it’s just not so, and it’s pretty sad to see baby Bandars crawling through a river of crisp packets and nappies when I’m on my way to the Internet café.
Hindi classes will be starting next week. Can’t wait. I’ve been trying to practice what I already know but surprisingly most people don’t seem to want to talk to me in Hindi. They either just answer back in English or wait until I start speaking in English. I have no idea if it’s because my Hindi is just terrible, or whether I’m insulting them because so many people speak English quite well, but I’m kind of disappointed about it. Hopefully that’ll change s that I’m learning this language for an actual reason!
3 July 2009
Bought a beautiful Banarasi sari from an old shop that’s been around since the 1930s. It’s gorgeous – bright blue, pink, and purple embroidered with flowers and gold. Mum would be proud, I thought while buying it. Too bad she doesn’t like my new nose ring (“It’s just not feminine Jessie”)…
There’s a lot of remnants of the British colonial days at the bottom of Mussoorie. The city was basically brought about because of the cantonment stationed there, and because the soldiers living there fell in love with the mountains and the wildlife so much that many decided to stay. I can see why. My Hindi school has been running since the end of the 1800s, when it was decided that the soldiers better learn some of the native language if they were going to communicate with the locals. Now a lot of missionaries come here to learn Hindi, which is funny because half the vocab in our book is religious and the other half is sort of instructions on how to talk to farmers.
Just around the corner from school we have an old colonial cemetery, where many of the soldiers and brigadiers who stayed for good have their final resting places. I love old graveyards. Just past our cottage, as well, there’s a little market called Sister’s Bazaar, though it’s really only got one shop called Prakash’s where you can find amazing home made cheddar and really expensive booze. We’ve just been sticking to some cheap Indian whisky called McDowell’s and two kinds of atrocious vodka, ‘Magic Moments’ and ‘White Mischief.’ Their names have turned out to be an accurate prediction of the outcome of a night spent drinking them. But anyway, the bazaar is beside a long row of little bungalows that formed a small hospital back in the day where nuns would tend to the soldiers, hence the name. Then at the bottom of the hill, past the main Mall Rd, there’s a spot called Gun Hill. Here you can see all the way down to Dehradun and further, on a clear day. Nearby there’s a colonial manor called Everest House, home to the man who mapped out Mt Everest, and the old cantonment itself. All in all, Mussoorie has become an interesting mix of those old days and modern times. As I walk back up the hill I see a tiny general store existing happily between a Baskin Robbins and a Coffee Day. At least it’s surviving…
8 July 2009
Woke up this morning to a really foggy day. We could see the mist crawling up the side of the mountain, almost like it was reaching out to grab at rocks and Deodar trees and pulling itself towards us. It finally caught up with me when I was on my way to school. At that point the fog became so thick that I couldn’t see where I was going anymore. Then, just when the air couldn’t condense any more, the clouds popped like water balloons on top of us. It rained for about fifteen minutes and everyone got drenched, but we loved it. And after this brief tempest, it seemed that every last droplet of fog had been wrung dry, so that the air was completely clear and fresh. Suddenly the Himalayas seemed so close. For someone with bad eyes, it felt like I was suddenly seeing clearly. On one of the opposite mountains I noticed a little village and a Buddhist monastery there that I had never noticed before. I gazed across the valley for a few minutes then kept walking to school, humming to a tune inside my head, “I can see for miles and miles and miles and miles…”
13 July 2009
Some of us were in Haridwar and Rishikesh this last weekend, but I decided to stay behind with a smaller group of friends to relax in Mussoorie. On Saturday we went to a nearby temple dedicated to the Hindu goddess Surakangda. As the protector of the warrior caste, in pictures she’s always depicted riding a tiger, carrying weapons in each of her six hands that she uses to fight off demons. The temple sits at an altitude of 10,000 ft, but the closest we could get to it by taxi was the 8,000 ft mark. From there it was a grueling, steep 2km hike to the summit. I was disgusting by the time we reached the top! It seems that a good portion of worshippers pay for a horse ride up and save themselves the trouble we took reaching the top, but the view at our destination was reward enough for me. I don’t know how else to describe the sight of the Himalayas any more, just a beautiful range of snowy mountains that never fail to take a bit of my breath away. I went into the temple to perform puja, and when I came out of the tiny, incense-filled room, the mists had once again quickly enveloped the temple, blocking everything beyond its grounds from view. I sat on one of the boundary walls, dangling my legs off the side of the mountain and watching my feet disappear from view. I was literally sitting in a cloud.
It must have been a good place to meditate, because my mind was rushing through the thoughts of my experiences here in India. I can’t believe it’s been such a short time when I already feel like I’ve changed so much. And I’m coming to the realization that I have so many exciting opportunities open to me in my life, as long as I can be open to them myself. Things will be so different when I come home to California, and that brought out so many emotions – fear, excitement, guilt. Sometimes I just wish I knew where I’m headed towards in life. When I get home Jade won’t be there, and Mum and Dad and Hamish will be who knows where, which means I’ll be totally on my own. Sort of like sitting on top of a mountain in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by a cloud…
I should stop now. I think the Santa Cruz yoga fanatic–vegan-hippies are rubbing off on me.
More to come about the last two weeks soon…
बहुत प्यार